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Heavenly Tears by ~unheard-voice:iconunheard-voice:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Teen or Young Romance > Fixed


Weakly gazing upwards,
Into the weeping sky,
Heavenly tears joining,
Those I silently cry.

Overwhelmed by sorrow,
I collapse to my knees,
Shivering and sobbing,
Consumed by this disease.

Cancer of the spirit,
Infection of the heart,
A divine loneliness,
Tearing my soul apart.

Haunted by thoughts of you,
Ghosts of a love now lost,
We will be together,
No matter what the cost.

Just as you were stolen,
Away from me by death,
I will surely follow,
Releasing my last breath.

I'm sorry that I failed,
To save you from this fate,
But soon I will join you,
We'll meet at heaven's gate.
©2005-2009 ~unheard-voice
:iconunheard-voice:

Author's Comments

First poem i've written in along time, and i dont even hate it much. not sure how good it is, but i'd better post it now before i forget it. i was kinda in a sad/lonelyish mood, and this is how it came out. tell me what you think. i may come back and change parts of it later.

Comments


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:iconkharas:
~kharas Apr 27, 2005, 12:21:08 AM
Very very nice. Great use of rhyme, the only falter I find is the rhythem, maybe break it up a little with spacing...

Love the beginning:

Heavenly tears joining,
Those I silently cry.
:iconunheard-voice:
~unheard-voice Apr 27, 2005, 1:16:04 AM
:D thanks, glad you like it. do you mean putting spaces between the stanzas?

--
The soul: "when it breathes through [man's] intellect, it is genius; when it breathes through his will, it is virtue; when it flows through his affection, it is love."
:iconkharas:
~kharas Apr 27, 2005, 1:20:23 AM
Yeah, and some tabs maybe... straight out like it is makes it feel fast paced to me, which doesnt feel right for this sort of poem.. if you can get where im coming from... cant remember any terminology with poetry, been quite some time since i last dabbled myself.
:iconsoulful-tears:
=soulful-tears Apr 27, 2005, 2:29:00 AM
I :heart: it. excellent rhyming :+fav:

--
...in my bed.

"We laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment." - Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler's Wife)
:icontheshyfox:
~theshyfox Apr 27, 2005, 3:09:50 AM
beautiful

--
"look at life through the camera lens... you'll never know how things might come out differently that way." -Me
I'm fixing to get ready to start thinking about trying to watch the tv
:iconslytherinpadfoot:
~SlytherinPadfoot Apr 27, 2005, 3:44:13 AM
:tears: I love this poem but it makes me sad. :hug: I wont leave u.

--
There is always something worth living for. :cling:
~slytherin May the snake be with you.
:iconsweetheart-hikari:
=Sweetheart-Hikari Apr 27, 2005, 4:11:35 AM
beautiful poem dear, I really enjoy the beginning and the power behind the words :hug:

--
~Caboose: I don't want to be dead, I want to be alive! ... or a cowboy!~
:iconunheard-voice:
~unheard-voice Apr 27, 2005, 9:53:24 AM
nah i know what you mean, thanks for the imput:)

--
The soul: "when it breathes through [man's] intellect, it is genius; when it breathes through his will, it is virtue; when it flows through his affection, it is love."
:iconunheard-voice:
~unheard-voice Apr 27, 2005, 9:54:12 AM
:Dthanks, glad you like. the begining is my favorite part too.

--
The soul: "when it breathes through [man's] intellect, it is genius; when it breathes through his will, it is virtue; when it flows through his affection, it is love."
:iconunheard-voice:
~unheard-voice Apr 27, 2005, 9:56:15 AM
:hug: thanks, glad you like it.

--
The soul: "when it breathes through [man's] intellect, it is genius; when it breathes through his will, it is virtue; when it flows through his affection, it is love."
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