My life fades away
And I silently wonder
Why I felt nothing
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this really has no relevence to my life right now. thought of the idea some time ago. not sure what else to say really... i think i like Haikus. tell me if you think its any good.
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May 13, 2004
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Comments
Good job. It's not common to read a Haiku that is about something other than nature, as that what that structuring was initially created to be used for. I'm glad you stepped outside of the box. I enjoyed it.
Thank you for shareing.
--
A boys will, is the winds will, and the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts. - Longfellow
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Just Greg, thanks.
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~Caboose: I don't want to be dead, I want to be alive! ... or a cowboy!~
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Life.
( Some Assembly Required )
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"It must be a Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays..." -Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
The only thing that kind of intrigued me was the change of tenses - you went from saying "my life fades away" (present tense) to "I felt nothing" (past tense). This is generally a no-no in writing, but with poetry it can be done if there's a reason for it...
Anyway, enough babbling. This is a good poem. Keep it up.
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